My 1 ab story - averse to zero size

I have given up. I just can't do it. I have started developing aversion to zero size. I am better off with 1 ab. Not keen in developing 6 abs.

I decided to shed few pounds. I did lots of homework by reading about weight loss on internet and newspapers. I chalked out meal plan for the whole week. I bought groceries, food suppliments and super food in advance and stored them safely. What I forgot was that week had a festival day! Once I did keto diet and very next day I did cheat diet. Whenever I work hard on my diet and reduce few kgs.of weight for straight two weeks some get together or kitty party or potluck happens in my life and I get hunger pangs.

There are various types of diets one can include in their meal plan.
- The Mediterranean diet says you on high consumption of olive oil, cereals, fruits, and vegetables, some cheese and yogurt. Mexican diet asks you to eat corn, beans, squashes, amaranth, chia, avocados, tomatoes, sweet potatoes, brown or red rice. The keto diet is a high-fat, adequate-protein, low-carbohydrate diet which asks you to eat vegetable oil, butter, cream, meat or eggs, low-carbohydrate fruits and vegetables which exclude bananas, potatoes, peas, corn etc.

- Other types of diets are eating only raw fruits, plant-based diet, vegan diet which excludes consumption of dairy products or eggs, crash diet, high protein diet, eating only low calorie cookies, cabbage soup diet, detox diet in the form of drinking only fruit and vegetable juices, liquid diet, alkaline diet, diabetic diet, gluten-free diet, monotrophic diet that involves eating only one food item or one type of food for a period of time, high fiber diet, eating only raw food or organic food.

These articles put me into confusion whether to eat peas or not, whether to consume potato or not, whether to eat corn or not. Today they say coconut oil is best. Tomorrow they reserach rice bran oil controls cholesterol. Again age old method of eating seeds(pumpkin, sunflower, flax, chia) is picking up momentum. Cauliflower rice blows your mind. Vegetables like zucchini, avocados, broccoli, kale, brussels, lettuce are finding places in Indian market. Unpolished or Basmati rice have low glycemic index but are costly.

I was attracted to few weight reduction programs which advertise about superfood diet saying they provide health benefits and increase nutritional value through Apple cider vinegar, blueberries, Chia and hemp seeds, moong dal cheela, sprouts cheela etc. But later realized the term 'superfood' is used as a marketing tool.

Recently one of the bollywood actress tweeted on taking down a newspaper for bodyshaming her and she mentioned not to spread lies as one may be suffering from health issues and illness. We are more influenced by celebrities and their lifestyle and assume we can consider them as rollmodels. But what we miss to notice that they would be on liquid or low calorie diet and 6-8 hours workouts to sustain in the showbiz.

I assert myself to include all sort of fruits, nuts, seeds, green leaves, vegetables, eggs, dairy products, oil, spices, millets, red/brown rice instead white rice in my 3 meal and do a balanced diet through them to maintain a good health.

Else I will hold responsible my genes. 

Do you cache in others ideas?

Today the topic I am going to write is about an old school thought 'intellectual opportunism".

Consider that your department has lost two big projects. So you call another close ally who is leading similar department and find out that his was also no better. Then you take advantage of this situation and highlight it to management that everyone is failing.

Another example is how you exploit a person because of his weakness or errors he is making. How you can badmouth about the other person going all over the places.

One more example can be how you wait for one loose end or one mistake from others to create ruckus and show your importance to the entire team or if some work of opponent gets accomplished you will take the credit for it.

This sort of "taking advantage of circumstances" action can be out of true motives or selfishness mostly. This person waits for the opportunities where he can sell his ideas or picks the ideas from others to advance in his position.

 Such self promoting interests can lack integrity or have less regard to opponent's principles or have bad consequences for others. You can not change that behaviour when one finds no issues with his actions as long as it serves his agenda. What you can do is ignore the weak personality.

This act can be due to behavioural inconsistency, purpose to gain popularity or to make money, to attain power and status. So one can go against his conscious and compromise between what he actually believes in and what he does outwardly.

In the course of capitalizing others mistakes, one can loose solidity in the subject knowledge, emotions or character. He often fails to know the worth of his own ideas which can otherwise be used in most successful ways. He can often change his opinions rapidly or slowly about others according to where he can gain personal advantage.

Characteristics of intellectual opportunist can be, he will truly not know what he is talking about, will not have genuine concern about the opponent but can show otherwise to the world, can twist ideas or argument for the self advantage, can look like a bully or strong personality but shit scared deep inside, can share ideas with likeminded people but would not trust them either, escapes from situations where he has to truly show his efforts, knows that opponent is more knowledgeable, can take sides of whatever seems to be popular at that time though he does not like it but just to prove that he is also in favour of the decision. He is a loner, guilty, never gets appreciated, unworthy and is a matter of subject to others.

Are you an 'intellectual opportunist'?. Businessmen say such behaviour or thought process can be used in strategic thinking for discovering and pursuing opportunities but I believe an intellectual opportunist can do more damage as he will be busy in finding his own success or doing self promotion than bringing the business to the organization. He will be power corrupt but can not be one who will build the business empire. He is not a visionary man. 

Happy Paws - pause and breathing time!

Rocky - black Dachshund came into our life as a 3 months old puppy 5 years ago. After an year or so Bear - a meek weak abandoned street dog adopted us who is white as fur. We wonder how god sent us exactly opposite colored dogs.

I have seen them turning into brown color when they dig our garden searching for termites or rats. Else there is absolutely no changes in their routine life. Eat, roam around, sleep and repeat.

Rocky has duck eyes. He can get as broody as possible sometimes. He goes on diet more than us but barks at top of his voice more than his size when he is hungry. He joins chorus in mournful voice of passing ambulance, very playful at times, pees inside house in anger when he is without us for hours. He is highly aggressive. Likes to hunt squirrels, cats, monkeys which appear in our garden. Always likes us to pet him. He has a long tail to wag when he is beaconing us near him. He is all grown up now but still expects us to spoonfeed pedigree.

Bear has very expressive lovely kohled eyes. He gets moody only when we nurse him for his wounds and he can go into hibernation for a month long as a sign of protest. He is hungry forever and always keeps an eye on our moves expecting us to feed him all the time. He doesn't allow Rocky to go near him when his food is around. Such possessive he is about food. He doesn't care to bark if strangers happen to pass by. He is more composed and calm. He likes to nuzzle around only me and less with other family members. His tail is blunt since we first saw him. He can bully you and make you fall down on the floor in excitement or while playful.

When both the dogs are around me I get to relax. It's a happy time for me. I get time to pause and breath out of my busy schedule. I forget my worries totally. That's how we bond.

Animals can be cunning, aggressive, dominant or submissive. But if you observe them closely, they fight for two things predominantly - one for food to survive and one for female. We humans in the course of going beyond survival needs, have exploited ourselves.

Along with evoution of science and techology, human nature like being pessimistic, cynical, selfishness, offensive, annoying, destructive, love & hate etc are dominating, nature like goodness, humble, truthful etc. Human nature is so complex. It can not be changed overnight. It's deeprooted within us.

Ok...It's time to feed my sons now. So leaving you with this quote :: "human nature is not black and white but black and grey" - Graham Greene

Mind doodling - a lot can happen inside!

Recently I started drawing. I really do not know why and how. I am not an artist. Not an expert in painting or sketching. But somehow sketched few out of interest.

I scribbled this mind doodle keeping today 's work life and personal life in focus. As we see lot of things are imbalanced between two. We suffer from anxiety, sleepless, disturbed, stressed, bored, confused. Soon we realise to overcome the better for us and this generation.

I deduce this doodle art with below situations:

1) fist is to depict handful of consciousness.

towards left side of the fist...

2) 9-5 Job; NO time(a clock is drawn inside O);
3) "laptop(ctrl c+v); unlimited coffee; food; mobile(talk); social media(facebook, whatsapp, instagram, twitter etc)....repeat; food, music" :: depicts what we do at work and workplace.
4) money(dollor in eyes, euros, yen, pound); money bag; power; greed written on vulture; onsite travel(aeroplane)/studies; building/site/apartment :: depicts what we desire for. It can turn into false promises or commitments in few cases.
5) business - to do or not to ---- Blah! :: depicts what we wish to do but only few dare to try.
6) press/media on Television with mike ---- Lies :: what we watch and form good/bad opinions.

You can see a brain in the shape of a lit bulb and "Do" written beside it. These are all activities we DO without excitement, happiness or out of insecurity feeling.

Towards right side of the fist...

1) you want to PACK(travel) --- which needs lot of planning.
2) you want to think, rethink, direct, converse, say it loud --- actions which is lacking sometimes.
3) you want Love(written inside a heart) --- which is seen less.
4) finally sleep --- deprived

You can see a soggy face with "Don't" written on it. Means above activities are less regular. You don't prioritize them. These stuffs go uninterested due to left side affairs.

This is in reference with what most of are experiencing and a generic opinion. Not specific to somebody.

Dispassion yourself from Social Media

I woke up for these, one day morning and got threatened. It was a matter of life or death.
 A lot has happened on Facebook since you last logged in. See what you have missed on LinkedIn. You have got 18 new pins/ideas waiting for you on Pinterest. See 31 new tweets on Twitter.
This is how such zero value added stuffs can spoil your fresh morning by just scrolling up and down on social media or networking sites and you gain absolutely nothing out of it.

Facebook reminds you relationship with your connections through videos, messages, greetings every other day and trust me you wont know half of those connections in person. This application has just become place to sneak peak into one's personal life and get envied.

You can get temporary happiness by reading memes or trolls. It can bring smile on your face only for a fraction of second but will never remain as a memory. I used to show such messages within my family who are less active on social networking sites and they never got the humour. It was a facepalm on me.

Google first page feeds you with three celebrity news, five weight loss tips, ten beauty tips. It will make you feel that you are deprived of somethings in life. What you do is start implementing such tips for a week and then forget them.

You fight wars on Twitter and then 'block' the other person who proves your ideology is wrong. You cannot 'kill' them. You are not sure if your 'right' brain works or 'left' one fulfils your demands. You can get to know words like feminism, libtards and google only for their meaning. You neither want to go back to history nor deep dive into the subject. LinkedIn can make you as low as possible and can question your existence while others mention their skills as 'drinking coffee'. Whatsapp is doing job of a postman. You are tempted to see last seen details of your contact every now and then. You just forward the messages as is and donot go through the content in detail. I don't download videos many a times. Instagram is to post your childhood photos and how you morphed from ape to man. I have an account on Instagram just to post what I eat everyday. Everyone eats to live!

You accomplish so little but you go on records about it. You want to look good, wise, smart, become a photographer, good cook, show your checklist, prove that you are a globetrotting and destination traveller, mention about depression, stress, gain sympathy. We all have seen few cases where people went live on social media before committing sucide. One of my connections checks into hospitals, hotels, movies and what not! I pray he stops right there.

You are wasting time by seeking validation from others. You are sold out. Opinions are formed on your personality. One can stalk others. Do not hit like button. For every action there is overreaction. You will logoff because you are bored. You will login back within few minutes because you are bored. Its an addictive disorder.

One of my family member has deactivated his accounts on social media for one year or so now and he is absolutely flourishing in his life. Recently I was reading a discussion on LinkedIn. One of the member wants to move away from facebook and comments on that posts were absolute worth reading. To my shock many of them have deactivated facebook login since last 3-4 years and they explained why. Also note that they have changed jobs. So gone are those days when one used to say that you will get job only if you have a facebook account. Its your skills,knowledge, reference and performance which will fetch you job.

For me social networking sites are becoming obsolete. They are no more knowledge gaining sites. They have handicapped your reading books, traditions newspapers, writing, art & craft skills. They are unable to create interest and market for themselves. They have lost competition. They are no more happy places. I want to unlearn social media and end pain and pleasure from this temporary material world.

K.G.F - why it became Gold and how??

A star was born and now he has raised his bar with this movie K.G.F at the starting of this year. For Rocking Star - Yash and for the entire cast and crew, this movie became a Gold mine.

Three long years of dream to make a film which should fetch you back whatever you have invested and to get world wide appreciation is definetly not an easy cup of tea for anyone. Prashanth Neel who has written and directed this movie is your man who tried and tasted the success. Movie is produced by Vijay Kiragandur whom one should admire for the brave decision to pour money on the movie.

K.G.F became internationally hit by entering 100 crore club within few days of the release and it's still in business. It took no time to become highest grossers in the history of Kannada cinema and why not!

When Excel Entertainment declared their association with this movie, I was confident that somewhere it will do good business in box office and audience will appreciate it, since it knocked BTown doors. Also it got dubbed into Telugu, Tamil and Malayalam languages.

I was reading tweets and wishes on K.G.F. People across the country be it from Mumbai or Odisha Or Andhra Pradesh OR Karnataka have received with wide open arms and showered their love. This proves the theory that whether it's a commercial film or drama or art film, if it's subjective audiences go and watch it in theatres.

While movie gets wild and berserk for those three hours and it might hammer you aftermath but you can let go. What's important is to search that innate acting skills of each characters, background music and soundtrack which intrigue time and again, fast and furious editing which was cautiously and smartly done though it received lots of criticism and the cinematography.

So I can say though the movie whirls around wealth, power, gangwars, labour mistreatment, superhero in reellife, it became a successful story and a golddigger(noun) in real life. Amidst discussions and thoughts around Chapter-2 is going on, I would say even that should be as equal as the Chapter-1 or one step further and I wish it's not done in hurry. I hope its crafted very well and that's what audience like me expecting. 

ಈಶ್ವರನನ್ನು ಹುಡುಕಿದಾಗ!!

ನಿಶ್ವಿಕಾ ಒಮ್ಮೆ ಪ್ರಾಜೆಕ್ಟರ್ ಕಡೆ ದಿಟ್ಟಿಸಿ ನೋಡಿ ತನ್ನ ಪ್ರೆಸೆಂಟೇಷನ್ ಅದರ ಪರದೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಸ್ಪಷ್ಟವಾಗಿ ಮೂಡಿದ್ದನ್ನ ಖಾತ್ರಿ ಪಡಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಳು.
ತನ್ನ ದಪ್ಪ ಕಪ್ಪು ಫ್ರೇಮಿನ ಕನ್ನಡಕವನ್ನ ಸರಿಪಡಿಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತ ಆ ಕೋಣೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಸಮಾಲೋಚನೆ ನಡೆಸಲು ಕರೆಸಿದ್ದ ತನ್ನ ಟೀಮ್ ಕಡೆ ತಿರುಗಿದಳು. ಮರುದಿನ ಅವಳ ಕಂಪನಿ ಇಪ್ಪತ್ತೈದು ಸೌಂದರ್ಯ ಉತ್ಪನ್ನಗಳನ್ನ ಆನ್ಲೈನ್ ಬಿಡುಗಡೆ ಮಾಡುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ತಯಾರಾಗಿತ್ತು. ಅದರ ಮೊದಲು ಈ ಮೀಟಿಂಗು ಅತ್ಯಂತ ಮಹತ್ವದ್ದಾಗಿತ್ತು.
ಅದಕ್ಕಾಗೇ ಬೆಳ್ಳಂಬೆಳ್ಳಗ್ಗಿನ ಒಂಭತ್ತು ಘಂಟೆಗೆ ಏಳೆಂಟು ಸದಸ್ಯರು ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಸೇರಿದ್ದರು. ಅದು ಅವಳ ಮೇಲಿನ ಭಯದಿಂದಲೋ ಅಥವಾ ಭಕ್ತಿಯಿಂದಲೋ ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲ.

ಇನ್ನೇನು ನಿಶ್ವಿಕಾ ತನ್ನ ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದ ವೈರ್ ಲೆಸ್ ಪ್ರೆಸೆಂಟರ್ ಅನ್ನು ಪರದೆ ಮೇಲೆ ಹಾಯಿಸಬೇಕನ್ನುವಷ್ಟರಲ್ಲಿ ಹೊರಗಿನ ಜಗುಲಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಯಾರೋ ಜೋರು ಜೋರಾಗಿ ಮಾತಾಡಿದಂತೆ, ಯಾರನ್ನೋ ತಡೆದಂತೆ ಕೇಳಿಸಿತು. ನಿಶ್ವಿಕಾ ಗುಂಪಿನ ಅತ್ಯಂತ ಕಿರಿಯ ಉದ್ಯೋಗಿ ಕಡೆ ತಿರುಗಿ 'ಏನಾಗ್ತಿದೆ? ಹೋಗಿ ನೋಡಿ ಬಾ' ಎನ್ನುತ್ತಿದ್ದಂತೆ ಕೋಣೆಯ ಬಾಗಿಲು ದಢಾರನೆ ತೆರೆದುಕೊಂಡಿತು. ಅವಳು ತನ್ನ ಆಫೀಸಿನ ಹಿರಿಯ ಸೆಕ್ಯೂರಿಟಿ ಗಾರ್ಡ್ ಅನ್ನು 'ನನ್ನನ್ನು ಯಾರೂ ತಡಯಬೇಡಿ. ನಾನ್ಯಾರು ಗೊತ್ತಿಲ್ಲವೇ. ನಿಮಗೆಷ್ಟು ಧೈರ್ಯ ಕಿಶನ್ ಅವರೇ ನನ್ನನ್ನ ಮುಟ್ಟಲು' ಎಂದು ಹಿಂದಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಜೋರಾಗಿ ದಬಾಯಿಸುತ್ತ ಕೋಣೆಯೊಳಗೆ ಒಳನೂಕಿಕೊಂಡು ಬರುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ವಶಿಷ್ಠನನ್ನು ಕಂಡು ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯ ಚಕಿತಳಾದಳು.

ನಿಶ್ವಿಕಾ ಅವಳಿಗರಿವಿಲ್ಲದೆ 'ವಶೀ...' ಎಂದು ಉದ್ಘಾರ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದಂತೆ ಅವನು 'ನಾನು ನಿನ್ನ ಹತ್ತಿರ ಮಾತನಾಡಬೇಕು. ದಯವಿಟ್ಟು ಹೊರಗಡೆ ಬಾ' ಅಂದನು. ನಿಶ್ವಿಕಾ 'ಐ ಆಮ್ ಇನ್ ಮೀಟಿಂಗ್. ಕಿಶನ್ ಇವರನ್ನ ಹೊರಗಡೆ ಲೌಂಜ್ ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಕೂರಿಸಿ. ಒಂದು ತಾಸಿನಲ್ಲಿ ನಾನು ಬಂದು ಕಾಣುತ್ತೇನೆ' ಎನ್ನಲು ಸೆಕ್ಯೂರಿಟಿ ವಶಿಷ್ಠನನ್ನು ಹೊರಗಡೆ ಕರೆದೊಯ್ಯಲು ತಯಾರಾದನು. ಆಗ ವಶಿಷ್ಠ 'ನಿಂಗೊತ್ತಾ. ನಂದಿಲ್ಲಿ ಮುಗೀತು. ನಾನಿನ್ನಿಲ್ಲಿ ಇರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ. ಎಲ್ಲವನ್ನೂ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಹೋಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ. ನಂಗಿದೆಲ್ಲ ಏನೂ ಬೇಡ' ಎಂದು ದಗ್ದನಾಗಿ ನುಡಿಯುತ್ತಾ ಬಾಗಿಲೆಡೆ ತಿರುಗಿದನು.

ನಿಶ್ವಿಕಾಳಿಗೆ ಆ ಹವಾನಿಯಂತ್ರಿತ ಕೋಣೆಯಲ್ಲೂ ಉಸಿರು ಕಟ್ಟಿದಂತಾಯಿತು. ಬಾಯೆಲ್ಲ ಒಣಗಿದಂತಾಗಿ ಮೈಯೆಲ್ಲಾ ಬೆವರತೊಡಗಿತು. ಕೂಡಲೇ ಚೇತರಿಸಿಕೊಂಡು 'ಒಂದು ನಿಮಿಷ ನಿಲ್ಲು. ನಾವು ಮಾತನಾಡೋಣ' ಅನ್ನುತ್ತಾ ಟೀಮ್ ಕಡೆ ತಿರುಗಿ 'ಒಂದೆರಡು ತಾಸಿನ ನಂತರ ಮೀಟಿಂಗ್ ಗೆ ಬನ್ನಿ. ಅಲ್ಲಿಯವರೆಗೆ ನಿಮಗೆ ನಿಯೋಜಿಸಿದ ಕೆಲಸ ಮುಗಿಸಿ' ಅಂದಳು.

ಅವರೆಲ್ಲ ಹೊರಗೆ ಹೋಗುತ್ತಿದ್ದಂತೆ ವಶಿಷ್ಠನೆಡೆ ಕಣ್ಣು ಹಾಯಿಸಿ 'ಏನು ನಿನ್ನ ಗಲಾಟೆ. ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೆ ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೆ ಈ ತರಹ ನನ್ನ ಕೆಲಸಕ್ಕೆ ತೊಂದರೆ ಬರುವುದು ನನಗಿಷ್ಟವಿಲ್ಲ. ಅದೇನು ಒದರಬೇಕೋ ಹೇಳಿ ಜಾಗ ಖಾಲಿ ಮಾಡು' ಎಂದು ಗರಮ್ ಆದಳು. ಅವನು 'ಹೇಳುವುದೇನಿದೆ. ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಮುಗೀತು. ನಾನು ನನ್ನ ಸಂಸ್ಥೆ ಮಾರುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನೆ' ಎಂದು ಹಗುರವಾಗಿ ನಕ್ಕನು.
ಅವಳು ಒಂದು ಕ್ಷಣ ತನ್ನ ಕಿವಿಯನ್ನು ತಾನೇ ನಂಬದಾದಳು. ಕಣ್ಣನ್ನು ಕಿರಿದು ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾ 'ಇದು ಜೋಕು ಮಾಡೋ ಟೈಮ್ ಅಲ್ಲ ಮಿಸ್ಟರ್ ವಶಿಷ್ಠ. ನಾವೆಲ್ಲ ನಾಳೆ ಬೆಳಗ್ಗೆಯಾದರೆ ಪ್ರಾಡಕ್ಟ್ಸ್ ಬಿಡುಗಡೆ ಮಾಡೋ ಗಡಿಬಿಡಿಯಲ್ಲಿದ್ದೇವೆ. ದಯವಿಟ್ಟು ನೀನಿನ್ನು ಹೊರಡು' ಅಂದಳು. ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಅವನು ಕಿವಿಗೊಡದೆ 'ನಿಶಿ... ನೀನು ಮೀಡಿಯಾ ವರದಿ ನೋಡಲಿಲ್ವ. ಒಂದು ವಾರ ಆಯ್ತು ಸುದ್ದಿ ಬಂದು. ಎಷ್ಟು ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ನನ್ನನ್ನು ಹೊಗಳಿ ಛಾಪಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ' ಎಂದು ಕಹಿಯಾದ ಧ್ವನಿಯಲ್ಲಿ ಹೇಳಿ 'ಒಂದು ಕಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ರಾಜನಂತೆ ಮೆರೆಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ವಶಿಷ್ಠ ಶರ್ಮಾನ ಅಧಿಪತ್ಯದ ಅಂತ್ಯ. ಅಲೋಹಾ ಆಡ್ ಅಂಡ್ ಮಾರ್ಕೆಟಿಂಗ್ ಕೋ. ದಿವಾಳಿ ಮತ್ತು ಗ್ರಾಹಕರಿಗೆ ಪಂಗನಾಮ' ಎಂದು ಓದುತ್ತಾ 'ಆಹಾ! ಎಷ್ಟು ವರ್ಣನೆ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದಾರೆ ನೋಡು' ಎಂದು ತನ್ನ ಮೊಬೈಲನ್ನು ಅವಳ ಮುಖದೆದುರು ಹಿಡಿದನು.

ನಿಶ್ವಿಕಾಳಿಗೆ ಒಮ್ಮೆಲ್ಲೇ ತಲೆ ತಿರುಗಿದಂತೆ ಅನಿಸಿ ಪಕ್ಕದಲ್ಲಿದ್ದ ಸೋಫಾದ ಮೇಲೆ ದೊಪ್ಪೆಂದು ಕುಳಿತಳು. 'ಡೈರೆಕ್ಟರ್ ಕೋಣೆ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ಕಟ್ಟಿಸಿಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದೀಯ' ಎಂದು ಸುತ್ತಮುತ್ತ ತನ್ನ ಬೆರಗಿನ ಕಣ್ಣುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ನೋಡುತ್ತಾ ವಶಿಷ್ಠ ತಾನೂ ಸೋಫಾದ ಇನ್ನೊಂದು ಅಂಚಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಳಿತನು. ಅವಳು ಈ ಎರಡು ವರ್ಷಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಅದೇ ಮೊದಲ ಬಾರಿಗೆ ಅನ್ನುವಂತೆ ತಾನೂ ಆ ಕೋಣೆಯನ್ನು ನೋಡಲಾರಂಭಿಸಿದಳು. ಅದೊಂದು ಅತ್ಯಂತ ವಿಶಾಲವಾದ ಸುಂದರವಾಗಿ ಅಲಂಕರಿಸಲ್ಲ್ಪಟ್ಟ ಕೋಣೆಯಾಗಿತ್ತು.
ಒಂದು ಕಡೆ ಗೋಡೆ ಪೂರ್ತಿ ಗಾಜಿನಿಂದ ಮಾಡಲ್ಪಟ್ಟಿತ್ತು. ಅದರೆದುರು ಅವಳ ಕೆಲಸದ ಮೇಜು ಖುರ್ಚಿಗಳಿದ್ದವು. ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ದೂರದಲ್ಲೇ ಎದುರಿಗೆ ಎಂಟು ಹತ್ತು ಜನರು ಒಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಕುಳಿತುಕೊಳ್ಳಲು ಸಾಧ್ಯವಾಗುವ ತೇಗದ ಮರದ ದೊಡ್ಡದೊಂದು ಮೇಜಿತ್ತು. ಅಲ್ಲೇ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಮಹತ್ವದ ಮೀಟಿಂಗ್ ನಡೆಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದವು. ಇವರಿಬ್ಬರು ಕೂತಿದ್ದ ಸೋಫಾ ಅವಳ ಕೆಲಸದ ಮೇಜಿನ ಪಕ್ಕಕ್ಕಿತ್ತು. ಅದರ ಹಿಂದೆ ಒಂದು ಸಣ್ಣ ಕಪಾಟಿನ ಮೇಲೆ ಕಾಫಿ ಮಷೀನ್ ಇತ್ತು. ಆ ಕಪಾಟಿನ ಪಕ್ಕ ಒಂದು ಮ್ಯಾಗಝಿನ್ ಗಳನ್ನ ಇಡುವ ಬೋರ್ಡ್ ಇತ್ತು. ಕೋಣೆಯ ಮುಖ್ಯ ದ್ವಾರದ ಪಕ್ಕ ಒಂದು ಬಾತ್ ರೂಮ್ ಕೂಡಾ ಇತ್ತು. ಕೋಣೆಯ ಗೋಡೆಗಳ ಮೇಲೆ ಜಾಣ್ಮೆ ಬರಹಗಳಿದ್ದ ಪಟಗಳಿದ್ದವು. ಒಟ್ಟಾರೆ ಆ ಕೋಣೆ ತುಂಬಾ ಮಹತ್ವಾಕಾಂಕ್ಷಿಯಾಗಿತ್ತು.

ನಿಶ್ವಿಕಾಳಿಗೆ ಇದ್ದಕ್ಕಿದ್ದಂತೆ ವಶಿಷ್ಠ ಆ ಕೋಣೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ತನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಕೂತಿರುವುದು ನೆನಪಿಗೆ ಬಂದು 'ಇದೆಲ್ಲಾ ನಿನ್ನ ಕೃಪೆ. ನಿನ್ನಿಂದಾಗಿ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡಿದ್ದು. ನೀನು ಇಲ್ಲದ್ದಿದ್ದರೆ ಇಷ್ಟೆಲ್ಲಾ ನನ್ನ ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾಡಲಾಗುತ್ತಿರಲಿಲ್ಲ. ನಾನು ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿರುವುದೇ ನಿನ್ನಿಂದಾಗಿ. ಅಂತದರಲ್ಲಿ ನೀನು ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಹೋಗುವ ವಿಚಾರ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದೀಯಲ್ಲ. ನಿನಗೆ ತಲೆಗಿಲೆ ಕೆಟ್ಟಿದೆಯೇ' ಎಂದು ನಡುಗುವ ಸ್ವರದಲ್ಲಿ ಕೇಳಿದಳು. ಅವನು 'ನನ್ನನ್ನು ನಂಬಬೇಡ. ನಾನು ಯಾರಿಗೂ ಮಾರ್ಗದರ್ಶಿಯಾಗಲು ಲಾಯಕ್ಕಿಲ್ಲ. ಕಣ್ಮುಂದೆ ಮೋಸ ನಡೀತಾ ಇದ್ದರೂ ಸುಮ್ಮನಿದ್ದುದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ ಈ ಶಿಕ್ಷೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದೆ ಬಿಡು. ಕಂಪೆನಿ ಮುಳುಗುತ್ತಾ ಇದೆ ಎಂದು ಗೊತ್ತಾಗಿ ಜಾಗೃತನಾಗುವವರೆಗೆ ತಡವಾಯಿತು. ಒಳಗೊಳಗಿಂದ ಎಲ್ಲಾರೂ ಹಣ ಕೊಳ್ಳೆಹೊಡೆದರು. ನನಗೆ ಮೋಸ ಮಾಡಿದರು' ಅಂದು ಬಿಕ್ಕಿಬಿಕ್ಕಿ ಅಳಹತ್ತಿದನು. ಅವಳಿಗೆ ಏನು ಹೇಳಬೇಕೆಂದು ತೋಚದೆ ಸುಮ್ಮನೆ ಸೋಫಾದಿಂದೆದ್ದು ಒಂದು ಕಪ್ಪಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಕಾಫಿ ಬೆರೆಸಿ ಅವನ ಕೈಯಲ್ಲಿ ಇರಿಸಿದಳು. ತಾನು ಮಗದೊಂದು ಕಪ್ಪನ್ನು ಹಿಡಿದುಕೊಂಡು ಹೈಹೀಲ್ಡ್ ಬಿಚ್ಚಿ ಅವನ ಎದುರು ನೆಲದ ಮೇಲೆ ಹಾಸಿದ್ದ ರಗ್ಗಿನ ಮೇಲೆ ಕುಳಿತಳು.

ಮತ್ತೊಮ್ಮೆ ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಮೌನ ಆವರಿಸಿತು. ನಿಶ್ವಿಕಾಳ ತಲೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ತನ್ನ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಹಿಂದೆ ನಡೆದುಹೋದ ಅದೆಷ್ಟೋ ಆಗುಹೋಗುಗಳು ಒಂದರ ಹಿಂದೆ ಒಂದರಂತೆ ನೆನಪಿಗೆ ಬರಹತ್ತಿದವು. ವಶಿಷ್ಠನ ಜೊತೆ ಎಂಟನೇ ತರಗತಿಯಿಂದ ಎಂ.ಬಿ.ಎ ಮುಗಿಸಿ ಎರಡು ವರ್ಷ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡುವವರೆಗಿನ ದಿನಗಳು; ಅವನ ಮೇಲಿನ ಕಳಕಳಿ ಪ್ರೀತಿಗೆ ತಿರುಗಿ ಅದನ್ನು ಅವನಲ್ಲಿ ಪ್ರಸ್ತಾಪಿಸಿದ ದಿನಗಳು; ಅವನು ತಾನು ತನ್ನದೇ ಜಾಹೀರಾತು ಸಂಸ್ಥೆ ತೆಗೆಯುವವನಿದ್ದೇನೆ. ಸದ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ಮದುವೆಗೆ, ಅವಳಿಗೆ ತನ್ನ ಬಳಿ ಟೈಮ್ ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂದಿದ್ದು; 'ಹೋಗಲಿ, ನನ್ನನ್ನು ನಿನ್ನ ಕಂಪೆನಿಯ ಪ್ರಮುಖ ಸ್ಥಾನಕ್ಕೆ ತೆಗೆದುಕೋ. ಆ ರೀತಿಯಲ್ಲಾದರೂ ನಿನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಇರುತ್ತೇನೆ' ಎಂದು ಅವಳು ಬೇಡಿಕೊಂಡದ್ದು; ಅದಕ್ಕುತ್ತರವಾಗಿ ಅವನು 'ನೀನಿನ್ನೂ ಸಣ್ಣವಳು. ನಿನಗೆ ಇದೆಲ್ಲ ತಿಳಿಯುವುದಿಲ್ಲ' ಅಂದಿದ್ದು; ಇವಳು ಕೂಡಲೇ ಅಪ್ಪ ಅಮ್ಮ ನೋಡಿದ ಶ್ರೀಮಂತ ಹುಡುಗನ ಮದುವೆ ಆಗಿದ್ದು; ಮದುವೆ ಆದ ಬೆನ್ನಲ್ಲೇ ವಶಿಷ್ಠನಿಗೆ ಸವಾಲು ಒಡ್ಡುವಂತೆ ತನ್ನದೇ ಆದ ಸೌಂದರ್ಯ ಉತ್ಪನ್ನಗಳ್ಳನ್ನು ಮಾರುವ ಕಂಪನಿ 'ಬ್ಯೂಟಿಪ್ರೊ.ಕಾಮ್' ಹುಟ್ಟುಹಾಕಿದ್ದು; ಮೊದಮೊದಲಿಗೆ ಅವಳು ತನ್ನ ಸಂಸ್ಥೆಯನ್ನು ಅಸ್ತಿತ್ವದಲ್ಲಿರಿಸಲು ಹಗಲುರಾತ್ರಿ ಒಬ್ಬಂಟಿಯಾಗಿ ಕಷ್ಟಪಟ್ಟಿದ್ದು; ತನ್ನ ಕೈಕೆಳಗೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡುವವರು ಒಳ್ಳೆಯವರಿದ್ದದ್ದರಿಂದ ಅವಳ ಕಂಪನಿಯೂ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪಮಟ್ಟಿಗೆ ಹೆಸರುವಾಸಿಯಾಗಿದ್ದು; ಹೀಗೆಲ್ಲ ನಡೆದು ಐದಾರು ವರುಷಗಳೇ ಕಳೆದು ಹೋಗಿದ್ದು; ಇವೆಲ್ಲವನ್ನು ನೆನೆಸಿಕೊಂಡು ಎದೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂದು ರೀತಿಯ ಛಳಕ್ಕು ಮೀಟಿತು.

ಅವಳು ಈಗ ತನ್ನೆದುರಿಗೆ ಹತಾಶನಾಗಿ ಕೈಚೆಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಳಿತ ಒಂದು ಕಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ ತನ್ನ ಪ್ರಿಯಕರನಾಗಿದ್ದ, ತನ್ನ ಆದರ್ಶವಾಗಿದ್ದ ವಶಿಷ್ಠನನ್ನು ಕಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ ಕಣ್ಣಿಟ್ಟು ನೋಡಹತ್ತಿದಳು. ಒಂದೆರಡು ನಿಮಿಷ ಒಬ್ಬರನ್ನೊಬ್ಬರು ದುರುಗುಟ್ಟಿ ನೋಡಿ ಒಂದೇ ಸವನೇ ಸಂಭಾಷಣೆ ಚುರುಕುಗೊಳಿಸಿದರು. ಅವಳು 'ಬೇರೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಹುಡುಕು.  ಬುದ್ಧಿವಂತನಿದ್ದೀಯೆ'. ಅವನು 'ಇಷ್ಟವಿಲ್ಲ'. ಅವಳು 'ಇಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಬಾ. ನನ್ನ ಜೊತೆ ಸೇರು'. ಅವನು 'ಬೇಡ. ಇದು ನೀನು ಸಾಕಿದ ಕೂಸು. ನಿನ್ನ ಕನಸು ಹಾಳು ಮಾಡಲಾರೆ'. ಅವಳು 'ಅಮ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಹೇಳಿದ್ದೀಯಾ? ಊರಿಗೆ ಹೋಗಿ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ದಿವಸ ಇರು'. ಅವನು 'ಇಲ್ಲ. ಊರು ಬೇಡ. ಮತ್ತೆ ಮೋಹಪಾಶಕ್ಕೆ ಒಳಗಾಗುವ ಭಯ'. ಅವಳು 'ಮತ್ತಿನೇನು ಪ್ಲಾನು ನಿಂದು'. ಅವನು 'ಸಧ್ಯಕ್ಕೆ ಏನೂ ಇಲ್ಲ'. ಅವಳು 'ಮತ್ತೇ ಎಲ್ಲಿಗೋ ಹೋಗುತ್ತಿ ಅಂದೇ'. ಅವನು 'ಹಾಂ. ಹಿಮಾಲಯಕ್ಕೆ'. ಅವಳು 'ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಏನಿದೆ ಲೈಫು?'. ಅವನು 'ಈಶ್ವರನಿದ್ದಾನೆ. ಕಾಯುತ್ತಾನೆ'. ಅವಳು 'ನೀನ್ಯಾವಾಗ ದೇವರನ್ನು ನಂಬ ಹತ್ತಿದಿ?'. ಅವನು 'ಅವನೇ ಕಣ್ತೆರೆಸಿದಾಗ'. ಅವಳು 'ನೀನು ತಲೆಮರೆಸಿಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದೀಯಾ?'. ಅವನು 'ಇಲ್ಲ. ಮನಃಶಾಂತಿ ಕಂಡುಕೊಳ್ಳುತ್ತಿದ್ದೇನಷ್ಟೆ'. ಅವಳು 'ಕೈಖರ್ಚಿಗೆ ಏನು ಮಾಡುವೆ?'. ಅವನು 'ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ಸೇವಿಂಗ್ಸ್ ಇದೆ. ಆಹಾರ ನೀರಿಗೆ ಧರ್ಮಛತ್ರಗಳಿವೆ'. ಅವಳು 'ಇನ್ನೂ ನಿನ್ನ ವಯಸ್ಸು ಮೂವತ್ತಷ್ಟೇ. ತುಂಬಾ ದೊಡ್ಡ ಜೀವನ ಬಾಕಿ ಇದೆ. ಇಷ್ಟು ಬೇಗ ಸನ್ಯಾಸಿ ಆಗುತ್ತೀಯೆ?'. ಅವನು 'ಅಷ್ಟೆಲ್ಲಾ ಮುಂದಿನ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ವಿಚಾರ ಮಾಡಿಲ್ಲ. ಸಾಧು ಸಂತನಾಗುವಷ್ಟು ವಿಶಾಲ ಹೃದಯ ನನಗಿಲ್ಲ'. ಅವಳು 'ನಾನೂ ಬರುತ್ತೇನೆ'. ಅವನು 'ಕೆಲವೊಮ್ಮೆ ಪ್ರಯಾಣ ಒಬ್ಬರೇ ನಡೆಸಬೇಕು'.

ಅವನು ಮತ್ತೆ ಅಂತರ್ಮುಖಿಯಾದನು. ಅವಳ ಕಣ್ಣಲ್ಲಿ ಸಣ್ಣದೊಂದು ನೋವಿನ ನೀರು ಜಿನುಗಿತು. ಅದು ಅವನಿಗೆ ಕಾಣಬಾರದೆಂದು ಕೂಡಲೇ ತನ್ನ ಮುಖವನ್ನ ಬಲಕ್ಕೆ ತಿರುಗಿಸಿದಳು. ಹೊರಗಡೆ ಬೆಳಗ್ಗಿನಿಂದ ಎಡಬಿಡದೆ ಜಿಟಿಜಿಟಿ ಸುರಿಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದ ಆದ್ರಾ ಸೋನೆ ಆಗಷ್ಟೇ ನಿಂತದ್ದು ಗಾಜಿನ ಮೂಲಕ ಕಾಣುತ್ತಿತ್ತು.

- ಶಿಲ್ಪ ಶಾಸ್ತ್ರಿ