Shades & Shadow

Ah! Nights are falling fast
I wriggled to fight hell
Phantom beckons to his kingdom
I run away as if its my last!!

Those hands enthral me tight
I beg light to unveil
Wounds grow reddened deeper
I kick my little limbs but frozen

Dark shadows covering dusk
Tears burned in to ashes
Stars lost twinkling spark
Wolves hound waves crashed

I grew big bigger to sky
Shred those spirits halves
Beam of faith warmed my face!
Soldier in me cried out with joy...

Sweet Sugar Pepper'd Salt - A life half way through!

She hoped he will look back but as usual nothing happened. Sometimes she wonders what keeps him going. Is it thirst for money, power, position or just to hang in there, as it is a male chauvinist society??

She came out of the airport lounge after waving a see off to her husband quietly, who was flying to US for few weeks. When she hit the road memories kept gushing and she sighed. 

She is in her Forties now. As everyone says mid life crisis develops at this age and every woman longs for a change, she was also undergoing the same. She was disturbed. She felt some bodily changes. She swore herself to question Lalit, if the same thing happens with men also, when he is back from his trip. 

She threw herself on the sofa of her apartment dropping the carkeys on the glass table and continued her thoughts. She was a regular simple girl with no much future plans, doing her 9-5 job before her marriage. Everything got changed after marriage or atleast she felt so. Twenty long years of marriage life, more and more commitments as the years went by, run after the money, try to prove herself everywhere, amongst all. 

She suddenly felt she was ‘shook by some one’ and had a gulp in her throat. She gasped for the breath and felt the room very warm though it was a winter day. She looked at the wall clock and it was ticking morning 8 o’clock. Her body resisted to get up. 

Did she miss a lot in her life or she lived full?. Turmoil hit her again. Her body ached as she moved over the sofa. She cuddled herself tighly but again she stretched. She twitched her lips. She could hear her heart beating. She knuckled her fingers. She felt restless across her legs. Her stomach was burning. She felt a slight pain in her chest. 

Like hell what is wrong with me today? Why am I wishing there should be some one, some one badly, here, right now? I could speak for hours, I could freak out, do craziest things, I can laugh loud, I can cry out. Is this the change I want? What am I longing for? Am I going into depression? She kept asking herself. She was frozen. Her senses were not working. Now she was not moving an inch. She had a blank expression on her face. She had a dazed look in her eyes which were getting moist. She wanted to cry but tears were not rolling. She was staring at the glass wall without blinking an eye. 

She almost knocked herself on the glass table when the phone rang loudly tearing her thoughts apart. She was startled and trembling out of fear. She slowly raised the phone receiver to her ears and listened. 

’hey girl, up for Shimla trip?’ Kanika’s voice cooed from the other end. Aditi said ‘Yeah’ slowly and smiled feably. She could not concentrate on further conversations. She was not to herself that day. 

ನಿಜವಾದೆನೆ ನಾ ನಿನ್ನೊಳಗೆ?

ನೀ ಅರಳಿದಾಗ ಘಮ್ಮೆಂದ ಮಲ್ಲಿಗೆ
ಸೇವಿಸಿದಷ್ಟೂ ಸುಘ್ರಾಣಿಸಿತು
ಅಧರ ಮಧುರ ಹಿತವಾದ ನಿನ್ನಪ್ಪುಗೆ
ನಿಜವಾದೆನೆ ನಾ ನಿನ್ನೊಳಗೆ?

ನೀ ಮಾಗಿದಾಗ ಕಾಯಾದ ಮೊಗ್ಗು
ಸವಿದಷ್ಟೂ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಸಿಹಿಯಾಯಿತು
ಮಡಿಲಾದ ಮನಸು ಹಿಡಿಯಾದ ಕನಸು
ನಿಜವಾದೆನೆ ನಾ ನಿನ್ನೊಳಗೆ?

ನೀ ನಲುಗಿದಾಗ ಝಲ್ಲೆಂದೀ ಎದೆ
ಬಿಗಿಯಾದಷ್ಟೂ ಛಳಕ್ಕೆಂದಿತು
ದೂರಾಗುವ ಭಾವ ಕಳೆವೆ ಎಂಬ ಜೀವ
ನಿಜವಾದೆನೆ ನಾ ನಿನ್ನೊಳಗೆ?

ಮುಖಕ್ಕೆ ಚುಮ್ಮಿಡೋ ಹದವಾದ ಗಾಳಿ ನೀನಾಗಬೇಡ
ತನಕ್ಕೆ ತಂಪನ್ನೆರೆಯುವ ಶೀತಲ ನೀರಾಗಬೇಡ
ಅದೇ ಭಕುತಿ ಭಾವ ಅದೇ ಪ್ರೀತಿ ಪ್ರಣಯ ನೀಡು ಸದಾ
ನೀ ನನ್ನ ಸೆಳೆದ ಬರೀ ಕ್ಷಣದಲ್ಲಿ ನಿಜವಾದೆ ನಾ ನಿನ್ನೊಳಗೆ...

Finding a night....!

From the hotel room that night I watched…Shadows of three four boys up to something…My imagination ran and I zoomed in my eyesights… Looks like they were having fun through mobile merrily hitting each other... I thought might be one more MMS rushing their adrenaline which brings their horses out…

Oh! look there…a dog is relieving on that lamppost as if it is the only place on earth where it finds it most peaceful...Under those dim lights from a bar I can see red eyes drenched in its own sadness… I turn my head right….from hotel next, he is ready to bring the heaven on earth for her beauty and she smiles…their structures fades away in to the dark soon…

I tried to expand my eyes and stare beyond that road….mind raced on every creatures beings walking biking driving…One wore dark glasses in night hiding his sorrows underneath…Sparks coming out of shielding in a nearby workshop burnt my anger as I flew with them…

thick droplets started pouring down…tip tip tip…I felt earth cried once for all…I could see a father running inside a petty shop holding his kid’s hand avoiding the rain…shopkeeper welcomes them with a broad smile…I felt better….they both were talking in high voices…I felt they cursed the rain which was falling in Dec…Kid is vividly looking at those colorful peppermints and gets one to chew…I felt my heart heavy…mostly I remembered my dad…

I dragged my look towards the sky...it was dark…!! I better concentrate on the road…

I watched those neon lights…shadows had changed…I could see smoke rings touching the sky whirling…ciggies say do not smoke…but I wonder…heart thumps what if it is a dope and they are in trance…che che….not possible…

I came out to the real world by two bikes’ wheelie sound…young boys...warm blooded animals…all are running…fast and fast…everyone wants first place…I was too…run on wheels…for what??? But run…

now I stand behind these hotel railings…I stopped…took a deep breath…take my steps back slowly slowly…see my right left…world is still running…though its night!

Lil' Confused soul!

This is not any sort of anti-love funda but my thoughts oscillates between lots of stuffs about what you call ‘Love’…

What is and why is it that its not within reach of our understanding….???

They say a guy and a girl can never be friends…does it mean at the end its all about Sex???

thoda love thoda sex and thoda cheating on each other…is it all that???If it is only that you have pros…go and finish it off…

For me atleast love has to be lifetime…else these breakups are all just to do with infatuation or crush and temporary…

I tried to analyze it within my circles but more and more I realize at some point of time we all slip...is it natural human instinct????Why cant it be like how I love my dad, my mom, my bro….!!!

Might be that’s how we are all designed…to love some one very deeply or not to fall for it but just keep resisting due to some obligations we forsee…

That’s why it continues to be a big question for me forever and I might never get any answer…

Home alone on this X'mas...

When Kevin says "this is my house and I have to defend it"....that broils my stomach and makes me homesick…

I me being tangled into many worries, happiness trying to unleash from them in hopes of getting into one more new phase of life…

I dream of those beautiful relations I got into…I wish for those whims and fantasies of travelling come true…

I want those reindeers to ride me into sky…I beg Santa to fill my goody bags with full of colorful stuffs….I wanna dance with snowman between those pine trees…

I like those cool breeze sweeping my face cooling me within….I hope to stay calm like those twinkling stars…I will keep child nurtured within me…

I sing, smile, laugh….I mould myself stronger and stronger… I will defend me…

X’mas is a festival of perpetual hope...I am sure my love of me will be with me….

ವೋಲ್ವೋ ಬಸ್ಸು

ಪೋಂ ಪೋಂ ಪೇಂ ಪೇಂ

ಬಂದೇ ಬಿಟ್ಟಿತು ನಮ್ಮೂರಿಗೆ ವೋಲ್ವೋ

ಅದನ್ನು ನೋಡಲು ಹತ್ತಲು ಮುದ್ದಾಡಲು ಅದೇನು ಜನರ ಗುಲ್ಲೋ

ಕೆಂಪು ಬಿಳಿ ಹಸಿರು ತ್ರಿವರ್ಣ ಧ್ವಜದಂತೆ ಕಲರ್

ಅದನ್ನು ಮದಗಜದಂತೆ ನಡೆಸುವ ಸದಾ ಸಮವಸ್ತ್ರ ಧರಿಸಿದ ಕಂಡಕ್ಟರ್ ಡ್ರೈವರ್

ಅದರಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಳಿತು ಬೇರೆಯವರನ್ನ ಪರಮಾರ್ಶಿಸುವುದೇ ಒಂದು ಚೆಂದ

ಏಕೆಂದರೆ ಕೆಲವರಿಗೆ ಅದರ ಹಮ್ಮು ಬಿಮ್ಮು ನೋಡುವುದೇ ಜೀವನದಲ್ಲಿ ಪರಮಾನಂದ

ಕೆಲವರಂತೂ ಅದರ ನಡೆಯಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಎಂದು ಕೇಳದೆ ಹತ್ತುತ್ತಾರೆ

ಟಿಕೇಟ್ ಕಲೆಕ್ಟರ್ ಬಂದಾಗ ಅವನನ್ನು ಗುರಿ ಸರಿ ಹೇಳಲಿಲ್ಲ ಎಂದು ಬೈಯುತ್ತಾರೆ

ಇನ್ನು ಕೆಲವರು ಇಲ್ಲಿಂದ ಅಲ್ಲಿಗೆ ಹೋಗಲು ಐವತ್ತು ರೂಪಾಯಿಯಾ ಎಂದು ಮೂಗು ಮುರಿಯುತ್ತಾರೆ

ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಕರೆದುಕೊಂಡು ಬಂದವರ ಪಕ್ಕೆಗೆ ’ಅಯ್ಯೋ ದರಿದ್ರದವನೇ’ ಎಂದು ತಿವಿಯುತ್ತಾರೆ

ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಕುಳಿತವರಿಗಂತೂ ಪಕ್ಕದಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಹಳೇ ಗಾಡಿ, ಕಪ್ಪು ಬೋರ್ಡ್, ಕೆಂಪು ಬೋರ್ಡ್ ನೋಡಿ ಖುಷಿ

ಗರ್ದಿ ಗಮತ್ತಿನಲ್ಲಿ ಒಂಥರಾ ’ಲುಕ್’ ಕೊಡುವ ನಮ್ಮನ್ನು ನೋಡಿ ಹೊರಗಿನವರಿಗೆ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯುರಿ

ಅಲ್ಲೊಬ್ಬ ಠೊಣಪ ಯಾರೊಂದಿಗೋ ವ್ಯವಹಾರ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಿದ್ದಾನೆ

ಇಲ್ಲೊಂದು ಮಗು ತನ್ನ ಮುಗ್ಧತೆಯಿಂದ ಬಸ್ಸೆಲ್ಲಾ ವಾಸನೆ ಹರಡುತಿದೆ

ಹೈಹೀಲ್ಡ್ ಹಾಕಿದ ಸುಂದರಿಯರು ಬಂದೇ ಬಿಟ್ಟರು ತಮ್ಮ ಹಂಸ ನಡುಗೆಯಲ್ಲಿ

ಜೊಲ್ಲು ಸುರಿಸುತ್ತ ಬೆಕ್ಕಸ ಬೆರಗಾಗಿ ನೋಡುತ ಕುಳಿತರು ತರುಣರು ಪ್ರೇಮಸಲ್ಲಾಪದ ಆಸೆಯಲ್ಲಿ

ಬೆಳಗಿನಿಂದ ರಾತ್ರಿಯವರಗೆ ಸಾಫ್ಟ್ವೇರ್ ಕಂಪೆನಿಯಂತೆ ಕೆಲಸ ಮಾಡುವ ಈ ಬಸ್

ಕರಿಯ ಬಿಳಿಯ ಬೇಧ ಭಾವ ನೋಡದೆ ಊರೆಲ್ಲ ತಿರುಗುವುದ ನೊಡಿ ದಿಲ್ ಖುಷ್

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